As technology changes the way we live and work, it makes sense that it will affect how we connect with others. With its ease of access and ability to reach anyone from across the city, state, and country; social media and dating apps have a negative impact on the way we build relationships and connect with someone when there is a mutual connection. There are some things that technology cannot replace, and building a relationship with someone is one of them.
Relationships take time to build and develop. In the past, your relationships came from the tribes that you have developed over your lifetime. Through those friendships, other friendships develop, and your tribe expands. Until one day, through this network of friends, you find someone that catches your eye, and your begin to form a friendship. Over time, that friendship develops into an intimate relationship built on a foundation of trust, respect, and a solid friendship.
With online dating, you jump straight into an intimate relationship, skipping ahead and forgoing the essential Getting-To-Know-You stage, and allow them into your life. For many people, that is difficult to let happen and will frequently lead to the relationship failing.
Dating apps should be a tool for helping you build a relationship, not a replacement for finding a relationship.
Accountability is Crucial for Building a Successful Relationship
Online dating apps do not have any accountability in what you say or the photos you use, other than basic verification to collect their monthly fees. You can literally say anything, within reason, and portray yourself as someone completely different than who your authentic self really is. Some dating sites will even let you have multiple profiles.
No one will stop you from using that eight-year-old photo of you looking your best. Or portray yourself as athletic and outgoing when you rather stay in and watch TV. It is up to the individual person to be honest and accurately portray themselves. While many of us mean well, the online version of ourselves is always written with rose-colored glasses.
Most of us plan to be authentic but will still only put out what we believe will attract the opposite sex, even if that is wrong. If you hear that people in red shirts will get more likes and interest, even if you hate the color red, you will still put up a photo of you wearing a red shirt. Our subconscious habits and a desire to be liked push us to show our best attributes when trying to attract the opposite sex.
Holding You Accountable to Your True Self
Being authentic when making a first impression is very critical when attracting a potential love interest. It rules out the risk of any surprises down the road after building a relationship off of that first impression, and any relationship that starts from a misrepresentation of yourself will doom to fail.
Unlike when you are out with your friends, where they can hold you accountable for your behaviour, you can act however you want online, and no one will question you. The trouble with that is that eventually, you will meet, and that whole persona will be revealed as the lie that it is.
Dating is Not a Solo Activity
The internet opened up a world of potential new relationships like no other technology before.
Allowing you to avoid the sweaty palms and nervous feelings that Approach Anxiety can create when approaching someone new out in public. But it has gone from a helpful tool to a replacement for dating.
The original intent of online dating, in general, is to allow you to reach out beyond your tribe and give you a chance to meet someone new while living your normal life. Unfortunately, it has turned into a replacement for building genuine relationships with a deeper connection. Instead of getting to know the real person behind those eyes that drew you in, you get the online version of them, just like they are getting the online version of you.
Break up with your phone and begin building your Tribe with the Overhere App
It is time to get back to basics when it comes to dating and building new relationships. Use your phone as the tool it is meant to be and start having honest conversations with new authentic people and expand your tribe while living life. One day soon, you’ll find yourself locking eyes with someone across the room, and you will be able to connect with them as your authentic self.
The Over Here app allows you to reach out to other tribes and begin to build new friendships and relationships by taking the time to get to know someone first, laying down a solid foundation so that a more intimate relationship can grow and develop into something more